She’s in the hospital, the doctor is between her legs telling her to push one last time. With increasing pain she obeys and pushes with the last of her waning strength. The doctor holds up the newborn for her to see her child for the first time and the thing looking back at her is a demon. She screams and wakes up at her friends house. She’s careless to have fallen asleep here. It’s already dark and her parents must be worried. Shaken, she grabs her things and rushes home. She takes the quickest route she knows and when she’s a block from home she feels someone roughly grab her and throw her on the alley floor. Disoriented and feeling nothing but fear she screams. Her attacker holds his hand over her mouth, nearly suffocating her. It’s bad. Really bad. She’s scared. She doesn’t know what to do. She can’t fight him off. He’s too strong. She tried it already and was backhanded for it. So hard that she blacked out. When she woke from it. Her worst fears were realized. He had pulled her pants off and was now between her legs. ‘Oh, please dear God. God, Please, please, please! Make this stop! I can’t take this. I won’t survive this a second time.’ As if in answer to her prayer, it stops. She wakes up in her bed. Crying and sobbing she wonders, ‘when will this stop’? She just wants to forget it all happened. But even in her dreams she can’t escape her reality. As she remembers the beginning, the demon child, she cries even harder. How can her parents ask this of her? How could they ask her to keep this thing growing inside her?
She once again considers abortion. It would be so easy to rid herself of this demon child if she got an abortion. She would never get her life completely back after what that monster did to her. She wants to forget about it and this demon spawn growing inside her won’t let forget for even a second. She wants to rid herself of this reminder. She thinks about moving on with her life. Accomplishing things she’s always dreamt of and letting this all be a bad dream. Then guilt dismantles her body. The idea of murder, even of the evil growing in her, fills her with guilt and shame. Wouldn’t killing this thing make her a monster too? Everyone would judge her including her parents. They’ve already made it clear that they don’t wont support that decision. She can’t keep this child. What other options are available to her?
Adoption! The idea suddenly springs to her mind. If she were able to bear this torture for the next nine months this option would be a possibility. She wouldn’t be forced to face the spawn everyday of her life and would be a way to assuage her parents and possibly maintain her sanity. She briefly fantasizes about moving on with her life with adoption solving her dilemma. In her fantasy she starts to believe that any family will do. Any, as long as they take it off of her hands. This fantasy ends abruptly when she remembers that not every child given up for adoption is actually adopted.
Foster care seems to be where these children go. In remembering all the horror stories she’s heard of foster children suffering through, she once again feels guilt. How often has she heard that these children suffer abuse and become physically and/or emotionally scared? Stories of children suffering physical, emotional and sexual abuse in the foster care system? These stories are pretty common as far as she’s concerned. She doesn’t want that demon to control her life with what he did to her. She doesn’t want him to turn her into a monster too. But she sees he’s winning the battle. How can he not? When every solution available fills her with guilt and shame?
If the evil spawn is going to spend his life suffering because by her actions, in the end what does that make her? If the child is molested, raped, neglected, beaten or any other action that spells out abuse she might just be better off killing it. Abortion seems to be the most sensible choice. Either way she’ll have guilt to deal with. But if she puts it up for adoption, she’ll always wonder if its suffering because of her choice. She’ll fear that one day it’ll track her down and want answers she couldn’t possibly know how to answer. Abortion would eliminate those possibilities. It will ensure that the spawn will not suffer pain all it’s life because of her.
At the end of the day who are we to decide what route is best for others? Yet, in our laws and our government our opinions are meant to matter. How do you feel about the argument of abortion vs adoption? In a terrible dilemma such as this one, what would you advise? What would you do? Is there a grey area for such a sensitive topic? A happy ending solution? Please comment below and let us hear your opinions.
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